Sunday, November 12, 2017

Models of Pride 2017: Psychiatrization Of Queer Minds

One of the two workshops I led at the 25th Models of Pride in Los Angeles, California.

Captioned with manual transcription but automated timing. Parts of the video are blurred because not all attendees signed consent to photography.

Summary in the MOP program:
Did you know that homosexuality was once a mental illness? That the American Psychiatric Association STILL describes being asexual or transgender the same way? Come to this workshop to learn about the historical role of psychiatry in defining queer identities, and how to be an ally to those who are still getting pathologized.

The video from my second workshop, "Conversion Therapy: History and Reality" were unfortunately lost prior to backup due my phone being stolen. However, you can view the slides for the presentation at

Models of Pride is a queer youth conference held every year at the University of Southern California (USC). Visit to learn more.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Everything Wrong With The Good Doctor (Autism Sins)

5 years after House, the head writer seems to have regressed. Now the autism is explicit, and made of DSM criteria instead of actual personality. Lots of ethics laws are broken, but with no acknowledgement that law-breaking is what's happening. All this and more in just the pilot episode!

Autism Sins is a snarky, sometimes satirical series, where I review media portrayals of autism in a rip off- er, I mean, an homage to the format of CinemaSins.

To see more of my videos, visit my YouTube channel.

For the original Sinners, visit or

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

NO 911, Suicide Awareness, and 13 Reasons Why

What does "suicide prevention" mean when the causes of suicide are oppression, trauma, and a world not worth living in?

Speech by yours truly at the Garden Church's "Suicide Prevention & Healing Ceremony" in San Pedro, California.

Please excuse and disregard the "danger to self or others" line. This was totally unscripted, I took a chance with a half-formed thought, and it turned out to be less than half-formed.

This video features closed captions in English. Other than that, there was no editing.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Everything Wrong With Atypical, Episode Three (Autism Sins)

This episode features a competition between two parents and a therapist, to see who can be the biggest abusive asshole. No need for a spoiler warning, because obviously the mom wins.

Autism Sins is a snarky, sometimes satirical series, where I review media portrayals of autism in a rip off- er, I mean, an homage to the format of CinemaSins.

To see more of my videos, visit my YouTube channel.

For the original Sinners, visit or

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Everything Wrong With Atypical, Episode Two (Autism Sins)

The sinner is back for more of the train-wreck that is Atypical! Since the first 30-minute episode already taught us everything there is to know about autism, we can now move on to the important stuff: Parents whining over how hard it is to raise us.

Autism Sins is a snarky, sometimes satirical series, where I review media portrayals of autism in a rip off- er, I mean, an homage to the format of CinemaSins.

To see more of my videos, visit my YouTube channel.

For the original Sinners, visit or

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Everything Wrong With Atypical, Episode One (Autism Sins)

The new Netflix series "Atypical" kicks off with a script so cringey, it practically sins itself. Today's drinking game is a shot every time a character is likeable; I promise you'll stay completely sober.

Autism Sins is a snarky, sometimes satirical series, where I review media portrayals of autism in a rip off- er, I mean, an homage to the format of CinemaSins.

To see more of my videos, visit my YouTube channel.

For the original Sinners, visit or

Monday, May 1, 2017

13 Reasons "Mental Health" Advocates Need to Watch 13 Reasons Why

Controversy erupted quickly around the release of 13 Reasons Why, a Netflix series based on the 2007 novel of the same name. This comes as no surprise, considering the story revolves around suicide. Not only that, the show (and the novel, but those don't get nearly as much attention in pop culture) disrupts the standard expected narrative in which suicide is typically portrayed.

The premise of the story is that a high school student, Hannah Baker, killed herself, but first left a series of audio tapes for and about all the people who contributed to her suicidality. The idea of a dead person leaving messages behind isn't new, but what does stand out is that a person who attempted suicide, and succeeded, still gets to tell her story. This premise allowed the script to offer a perspective that isn't found in other suicide narratives, and is much closer to reality.

The objections to the show seem to mostly fall into two categories: 1) People who have actually had suicidal thoughts or even attempted suicide, who understandably refuse to watch the show for fear of being triggered or re-traumatized. 2) People who advocate for "mental health awareness" and are very offended that suicidality is portrayed as a natural life experience and not a chemical imbalance. Where these two groups overlap, the label for that section of the Venn diagram is "internalized ableism". Here's an example (WARNING: auto-playing music) which seems to be the most popular "don't watch it!" post floating around multiple social media sites, and the inspiration for this rebuttal.

Evidence on comforting the afflicted is inconclusive, but 13 Reasons Why definitely brings affliction to the comfortable. "Mental health" advocates need to see this show. No, it's not for "everyone" - it's highly triggering (for example the act of suicide is shown on screen, as well as multiple sexual assaults) and more than a little problematic. As said most elegantly by my colleague Leila Yoder, there are definitely aspects of the script to be critical of, but "it's not pathology paradigm enough" isn't one of them.

13 Reasons Why is an important cultural commentary that more people should see. Here are 13 reasons why:

1. Bad consultants were mostly ignored.

The creators of the show consulted with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, an organization which advocates in favor of force and coercion, including locking people up in psychiatric prisons and pacifying them with medication. Can you guess how the Foundation justifies this? All human rights violations are a necessary means to the exalted end of recovering people from their mental illnesses. What a unique and original thought. While it's impossible to know whether the final script was molded by ethics, marketing, or storytelling, it's clear to me is that the screenwriter had a chat with a very bad organization, then went directly against most of their bad advice.

2. The dead girl tells us what didn't work.

In real life, we can't ask someone what went wrong after a successful suicide attempt. Therefore we don't know how realistic Hannah's perspective is. Nevertheless, it disrupts the standard narrative: Suicide attempt survivors, both real and fictional, get paraded as tokens by "mental health" advocates to talk about how great the "treatment", usually being locked up and medicated, worked for them. This narrative is not scientifically justified. In fact, it's propaganda.

The most well-known example of this problem was recognized during World War 2, when the U.S. Navy studied returning planes and reinforced the most damaged parts in the next design. The mistake was that those were the parts which could get heavily damaged and still return. The parts that never return damaged are the ones that bring the plane crashing down, never to be studied. In psychology, this cognitive error is literally called survivor bias.

In a society where every suicidal person is forced, coerced, or at least pressured into some kind of "treatment" program, you either never get identified as suicidal and never get hit with a psychiatric intervention, or you get identified and you get an intervention. There is no identified-but-not-intervened control group to verify that the "treatment" should actually get the credit. We do on the other hand have research suggesting that locked facilities make people more suicidal, not less.

3. Hannah was killed by other people.

Another part of the standard narrative is that suicidality, without a verbal acknowledgement, is undetectable. Therefore it's no one's fault when someone dies. 13 Reasons Why straight-up says no to this narrative, instead placing the blame firmly on those who hurt Hannah and those who failed to reach out. The show demonstrates the simple causal link between suicide and traumatic events such as bullying and sexual assault. The other main character, Clay, wasn't a direct assailant but has to come to terms with his complicity.

4. Hannah is neurotypical.


You can't deflect the blame to a "mental illness" or "chemical imbalance" either. Not for the character any more than for real people, unless being gay also causes a "chemical imbalance" the same way excessive melanin in the skin exerts a gravitational force on police bullets.

Hannah is portrayed as a normal, mentally healthy person (at least until she racks up a few traumas), not as a list of diagnostic criteria or LOL RANDOM CRAZY. It was her experiences that caused her to become suicidal, not spontaneously manifested brain chemicals.

This is a breath of fresh air for people who have been falsely labeled as mentally ill... which is everyone who's been labeled as mentally ill...

5. Hannah is able-bodied.


Though I'm rarely thankful for this, disability is not represented at all. Hannah does not have one. She does not kill herself because it's so tragic and burdensome to exist in the world as a disabled person. Another break from one of cinema's most offensive and harmful clich├ęs.

6. It's not just a choice.

I usually go out for vanilla ice cream on the weekends, but this time I think I'll try rocky road to see if I like it. And I usually enjoy being alive but I think I'll try killing myself today. That's what has to be going through the heads of people who say suicide is just "a choice".

Suicide is what people are driven to when they're pushed past their breaking point. This reality is reflected in the portrayal of Hannah Baker. She is bullied and abused and injured and broken, until eventually she can't think of any other option. If seeing the truth makes people uncomfortable, good.

7. Reaching out backfires.

When Hannah tries to reach out to other characters - friends, parents, school counselor, they are at best unhelpful and unsupportive, if not making the situation even worse. This is realistic, if perhaps a bit relentless in its cynicism. "Don't reach out" may be a dangerous message, but so is "reach out to anyone and everyone." Some people will invalidate, re-traumatize, or even call the cops. This warning creates the appropriate balance, supporting the reasonable message to be selective.

8. Self-harm gets a spotlight too.

One of the characters (not Hannah) explains her self-harm by saying "it's what you do instead of killing yourself." This isn't the true reason for everybody who self-harms, but it is for some. In a non-coercive way, this line offers an alternative to suicide. Because the rationale is so difficult to argue with, it also helps to de-stigmatize self-harm, and yes, self-harm absolutely does need to be de-stigmatized. Not the "treatments" for it, but the act itself.

Self-harm and suicidality are both natural parts of the human experience. Turning them into taboo subjects does no good for the people experiencing them. In fact, it often creates shame, which makes both of them more attractive. 13 Reasons Why has got people talking.

9. Hotlines are not the answer.


Another major complaint against the show is that it doesn't offer resources. For example, there is not a list of phone numbers for suicide hotlines in each episode's end credits.

I don't believe that this was an oversight. I believe it was a deliberate choice, because promoting suicide hotlines would undermine the central message of the show.

The real reason people get uncomfortable with the lack of resources is not moral outrage at irresponsible triggering, it's because they are yet again trying to find a way to make suicide the sole responsibility of the suicidal person and not anyone else. If calling a stranger on the phone is a magic pill to cure suicide, then every death is the fault of the dead person for not reaching out. By not inviting this supposed solution into the show, it was not invited into the conversation. The focus is kept instead on other people's responsibility in causation or prevention.

10. Medication is not the answer.


Medication actually does come up in the show, not for Hannah but for Clay. His incompetent mother can't think of any other way to relate to him, because she's internalized the idea that his grief over a dead friend is a mental health condition, and the way you deal with those is by taking drugs, not, you know, being human together.

Hannah does not take any medication, because that would give the audience freedom to rationalize however they see fit: Either the medication caused the suicide so it's not other people's fault, or it was the wrong medication for her mental illness so it's not other people's fault. Clay explores medication but doesn't get any benefit from it, which is also the most common outcome in real life.

11. Prison is not the answer.


None of the characters, least of all Hannah herself, ever suggest that what she really needed was to be locked up in a psychiatric prison where she can be somehow healed by additional violence against her. Not only would such a statement have been patently untrue, it would have once again undermined the apparently controversial message that people are responsible for each other's well-being. If suicide prevention is the responsibility of some professional psychologist in some hidden facility, then it doesn't have to be yours. You have permission to ship people off and wash your hands of it. Out of sight, out of mind.

12. Permanence is powerful.


If Hannah really wanted to send a message, why didn't she power through and tell her story while still alive? Isn't that more powerful? No. It isn't. Sticking around gives other people the chance to apologize, to offer help, to give lip service and feel good about themselves, without doing anything to actually improve the victim's quality of life.
13 Reasons Why is not a warning to suicidal people not to kill themselves. That was never the intent. It's a warning to friends and family of suicidal people, that if you fuck up, if you're not present and caring and supportive, that's it. They're dead. You don't get a second chance. You don't get closure.

13. Suicide awareness can kiss this show's ass.

I have a confession to make: I have never been suicidal. And I don't think I ever will.

Yet suicide awareness campaigns still affect me personally, and my community. I won't soon forget the inherent dehumanization in habitually cutting the strings off my shorts, because I'm expected like all other interchangeable mental patients to somehow kill myself with them while pinned down on a four-point restraint bed. I haven't forgotten that suicide was the big justification no one wanted to challenge, when we first decided that you could detain people in so-called "hospitals" instead of mainstream jails. Every time I see a therapist, I'm reminded that if I so much as express a thought about killing myself, that she not only has the option to legally commit violence against me, she's expected to and can get in trouble if she doesn't.

As someone who has been subjected to traumatic and abusive human rights violations in the name of misguided attempts at suicide prevention, and who knows the stories of other people who can say the same, I am thankful that an item of cultural influence promotes a different message. Even if I believe for a second that the point of 13 Reasons Why is to "glorify suicide", I'll take that over awareness.

Image description: Promotional photo of the characters Clay and Hannah, with additional text around the title so that the image says "There are thirteen reasons why I killed myself and not a single one of them is a chemical imbalance."

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

The Autistic Future

The following is a speech written for the 2017 Autism Acceptance Chalk Festival in Covina, California, organized by Autism HWY. These words were assembled specifically to be spoken orally to a live audience. Therefore, I suggest you watch the video if able. If not, then consider the written article as a transcript.

This is a message for non-Autistic parents of Autistic children, especially those of you who identify yourselves as "autism parents". If that describes you, it may sound strange to hear, but not because it's a strange phrase. The sound is unfamiliar because your comfort zone is assuming that resources are for you– not your child but you, the parent– unless stated otherwise, and you hardly ever hear it stated otherwise.

When filling a tabletop to promote my favorite nonprofit, I may tailor my words to the person most often standing in front of me, but as a writer of articles, videos, and in this case speeches, I'm tired. I'm tired of rehashing the same talking points that will never penetrate the skulls of people who choose to remain in denial. I already know that murder is wrong, that stupid is an offensive slur, and that you can't "treat" something if it isn't a medical condition. It's time to move on. Time to realize that no one will ever be on the frontier if we spend all our time laying breadcrumb trails for people who don't actually want to follow them. This is a message for people who need the breadcrumbs, but if that need isn't paired with a "want", then let it be the last one. It's time for us backwards-walking leaders to turn around and look the future in the face.

This is a message for you parents who worry whether your children will ever become "independent", or what will happen to them after you're gone. This is especially a message for those of you who train your adult offspring to remain dependent on you, guaranteeing that your worries remain a mystery. You continue to worry, and you resist all change that might actually alleviate the worry, because your greatest fear is not failure, it is realizing that you are, or maybe always were, unnecessary.

When Rain Man was the stereotypical idea of an Autistic person, you worried about whether your child would achieve an arbitrary standard of "normalcy" and escape your own decision to imprison them. Then for a brief period the stereotype was a real person named Temple Grandin, who preaches about turning passions into careers, and you worried about whether your child would ever have a job. Now the stereotype is The Big Bang Theory's Sheldon Cooper, a millennial. Finally you are recognizing that we don't all die or get whisked away by our fairy godmother on our 18th birthdays.

This is, in part, a message of hope. The kids will be alright. But more importantly, it is a message of divergence. We will be alright without you.

The future of autism is Autistic.

Another strange phrase if you never bothered to learn its component words. The Autistic community is a simple concept: a community, made of Autistic people. The autism community on the other hand is... not really a community. It's a vague category of groups where you gather to chant "mother knows best" as a religious mantra. It's a referral network that bridges the gap between a con artist and your wallet. It's a place where your children seek support, and fail to find any.

We're a persistent bunch, so when trying the same thing doesn't work a few times, we make our own support. As I speak, we've already for years had our own social groups run by Autistics, for Autistics; our own support groups; our own civil rights advocacy groups; our own dating website, our own book publisher; there's lots more in the works and we're not waiting around for someone else to do it for us and most likely do it wrong. Some of you have been really listening– you've gained the mark of a true ally, which is that your public words are indistinguishable from the community they support, but the vast majority of you who think you already know best? You're about to get left behind.

When I visit your so-called parent community, I notice how many of the children you speak of are really adults. It's gotten to the point where even parent organizations are starting to focus on adult services– or at least they've started talking about the fact that there aren't enough services for adults, kind of like an "anti-stigma" campaign whose central message is "a stigma exists."

Ever since the work of Leo Kanner and Hans Asperger, the official government estimates of autism prevalence have made continuous progress toward the reality that's always been the case. In the 1980s, the introduction of "Asperger's" gave us a big boost, and by the '90s, the number of people who were informed of their neurological identity reached a critical mass. There are now more people than there have ever been before who are adults, who are aware that they are Autistic, and who are not imprisoned in a psychiatric institution for the crime of being born Autistic.

There's only so long a group of parents can meet to complain about parenting an Autistic child, when half of those "children" are in their 20s and 30s, when the rest aren't getting any younger, and when a growing number of these parents are realizing, or have known for plenty of time, that they are Autistic themselves. Most of those parents then realize the Autistic community is far more welcoming to Autistic parents than the so-called parent community.

That is not a call to action. That is just an observation. People are already converting to our cause. The only question is: Are you coming too? If you want to make it about you, then we don't need you. If you want to take over or make us do things your way, then we don't need you. If you want to rescue your undeserved role as the spokesperson of our community, then we don't need you. If you want to step back, listen, support our voices, act like a real ally, then we still don't need you, but it would be nice to have you. We, just as actually Autistic people coming together, now have the numbers to get the real work done, and we're doing it. We're not inspirational, by the way. We're defiant.

We defied the odds, not against existing while still disabled or living past childhood or being useful to capitalism, but against our birthright! The right to connect with our genetic family! The right to tell the stories of our own lives! The right to decide what's best for ourselves! You didn't just tell us we couldn't– you tried to make sure of it! We were warned, we were given an explanation, we were manipulated, beaten, drugged, locked up, tortured, murdered, and nevertheless, we persisted. We will persist with the aid of your presence, or in spite of it. The choice is yours.

As a closing thought, I leave you with the words of an Autistic friend of mine– the Community Manager of Disability Action for America, Konstantine Anthony:

"In the next few years, your child will begin to question their own Autistic identity. They will not settle for your ignorant half-answers, and they will search elsewhere. That's when they will find us. Me and my fellow Autistics will be here with the truth, shining like a beacon on the hill, guiding their way to acceptance and understanding. And on THAT day, you will remember these words:

Accept your children for who they are, or risk losing them."

This speech concludes with the words of musician Bob Dylan, with a few alterations:

Come gather 'round people, wherever you roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown
And accept it that soon, you'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth savin'
Then you'd better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone
For the times, they are a-changin'

Come writers and critics, who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide, the chance won't come again
But don't speak too soon, for the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who that it's namin'
For the loser now will be later to win
For the times, they are a changin'

Come doctors and teachers, will you heed the call?
Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall
For those who get hurt will be those who have stalled
There's a battle outside and it's ragin'
It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls
For the times, they are a changin'

Come mothers and fathers, throughout the land
And don't criticize what you don't understand
Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command
Your old world is rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand
For the times, they are a changin'

Monday, April 10, 2017

Autism Sins: Sesame Street

See the amazing number of ways Sesame Street got autism wrong!

Autism Sins is a snarky, sometimes satirical series, where I review media portrayals of autism in a rip off- er, I mean, an homage to the format of CinemaSins.

To see more of my videos, visit my YouTube channel.

For the original Sinners, visit or

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Everything Wrong with Autism In Love (Autism Sins)

Have the rich complexities of Autistic love finally been shown on screen, or is this another lazy cishet sob story? It turns obvious pretty quick, so place your bets now!

Autism Sins is a snarky, sometimes satirical series, where I review media portrayals of autism in a rip off- er, I mean, an homage to the format of CinemaSins.

To see more of my videos, visit my YouTube channel.

For the original Sinners, visit or